Lk 2:41-52
41Each year [Jesus’] parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, 42and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. 43After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. 44Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, 45but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. 46After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, 47and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. 48When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” 49And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 50But they did not understand what he said to them. 51He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart. 52And Jesus advanced [in] wisdom and age and favor before God and man.
A relationship that nurtures
The reading from the first book of Samuel tells about Hannah giving birth to longed-for son Samuel. She goes to the temple and tells Eli the priest that she prayed for the child and the Lord granted her request. Now she fulfills her vow: Samuel shall be dedicated to the Lord.
This relationship is called quid pro quo. Literally, it means that something is received and for which something else is given in return. Or in business, one gives money in exchange for a material good. In our story, the Lord granted Hannah’s request and she now, in turn, dedicates her son as she had promised.
Is this kind of relationship wrong? Not at all! How many times have we heard our mothers describe similar contractual agreements? “Your sister was very sick and I promised that if she got well, I would go to Quiapo church for nine Fridays.”
But if we think that this kind of relationship between the human person and God were the only kind of relationship possible between them, then that would be tragic and wrong. For it is possible that even if Hannah had not asked for a son, God would have given her one out of the goodness of his heart and without expecting anything in return. Or that, though she prayed for a son, God in his wisdom would not have seen fit to give her one. Or God in his wise design would give her a son, not when she wanted one but at a time judged opportune by God. There are many possibilities and variations on how God can deal with human persons. God is free, genuinely free!
What kind of relationship results? It is a relationship similar to that of two friends who trust each other and are both free to make choices—sometimes in favor of what one desires because the other judges it to be a wise decision; sometimes not, because the other deems it an unwise move. What is important is that each one keeps the good of the other in mind. Each accepts what the other decides—without hurt, anger, or regret—firmly trusting, believing in, and wholeheartedly loving the other.
The relationship between the human person and God has been described as the dance of two freedoms. Here, each party is unencumbered in making a wise decision. What is presumed, however, is that trust, faith, and love exist between them! I wonder how many of us allow God to be free to deal with us in the way that he wants to deal with us, to let God be God.
On this feast that celebrates family, let us contemplate on what we have learned about relationships. The relationship between spouses need not and should not be on a quid pro quo basis. Otherwise, it becomes dry, devoid of affection, intimacy, and true love. The relationship between parents and children need not be based only on quid pro quo agreements: “If you study well and get good grades, I will raise your allowance.” “If you clean your room, I will give you money.” Rather, relationships should be firmly based on respect and trust, on a desire for the other’s good, growth, and welfare. When that is so, parents are free to say no when a child asks for something that could not possibly be good for him. What we celebrate today is the love that nourishes and nurtures true familial relationships.