Jn 11:3-7, 17, 20-27, 33b-45
The sisters [of Lazarus] sent word to [Jesus], saying, “Master, the one you love is ill.” 4When Jesus heard this he said, “This illness is not to end in death, but is for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” 5Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6So when he heard that he was ill, he remained for two days in the place where he was. 7Then after this he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”
17When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 20When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him; but Mary sat at home. 21Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22[But] even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you.” 23Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise.” 24Martha said to him, “I know he will rise, in the resurrection on the last day.” 25Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, 26and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” 27She said to him, “Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.” 33When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come with her weeping, he became perturbed and deeply troubled, 34and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Sir, come and see.” 35And Jesus wept. 36So the Jews said, “See how he loved him.” 37But some of them said, “Could not the one who opened the eyes of the blind man have done something so that this man would not have died?”
38So Jesus, perturbed again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay across it. 39Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the dead man’s sister, said to him, “Lord, by now there will be a stench; he has been dead for four days.” 40Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of God?” 41So they took away the stone. And Jesus raised his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you for hearing me. 42I know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this, that they may believe that you sent me.” 43And when he had said this, he cried out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44The dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth. So Jesus said to them, “Untie him and let him go.” 45Now many of the Jews who had come to Mary and seen what he had done began to believe in him.
And Jesus wept. In her groundbreaking work, On Death and Dying, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross says that there are five stages in dealing with grief and death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Some of these elements may be seen in the Gospel. Besides these, we may also note the following:
The waiting. I was called one night to give the last rites to an old woman in a remote barrio. When I reached her home, I saw her breathing heavily but peacefully. She was surrounded by her family members and neighbors, praying and waiting peacefully. It was a beautiful family sight.
The weeping. It is all right to cry. Even Jesus weeps over Lazarus. I know a friend who, because she had to show courage at her father’s death, controlled herself and did not weep. But pain simmered in her heart, and she was not all right until she cried her heart out ten years after her father died.
The offering. We have to entrust our loved ones to the Lord. We remember and live the good things and admonitions they have left us. We have to bring this painful moment to closure and live on.